Whew! I have just gotten home from an 11 hour trip and can't seem to settle down enough to go to bed. I suppose I slept too much in the car.
This has been a wonderful, exhausting, fun weekend and I hate that it is over. My oldest daughter starts Vet school tomorrow. I wondered many times if that would ever come to be, but it has. We went to see her "coating" ceremony last week. The school she is going to gives them a colored lab coat with their names on it when they enter their Freshman year. She will get her white coat when she finishes her course work. While I was watching the students being called up to receive their coats, I finally realized that her dream of many years will come true. She has reminded me that she has to pass all her classes, but I know with her determination and our prayers, it will be a reality in four years. I was holding my great neice during the ceremony and couldn't help thinking about the short (at least in my mind) time ago that my daughter was that small. When our children are young, we think the time will never pass. When they are grown, we wonder why we wanted the time to pass at all. There never seems to be enough time to say and do all we want with our children. I suppose every mother feels the same way. We just hope we said enough and loved enough to give our children the foundation they needed.
The rest of the weekend was spent working on the house our children live in. It is such a joy to work on that house, because it is ours and we are fixing it for our pleasure. We always "fix" the houses we live in but not until we are ready to sell it. I never get to enjoy all the hard work! We put a fence up around the back yard for the dogs that they have living with them. I wanted to make it easier for them to take care of their dogs and for an outside area that the dogs could enjoy. We also did some repairs and updates inside. I was helping my daughters set their room up since they will be sharing a room this year. They have asked two of their friends to live with them so that leaves my girls being roomates again! It has been many years since they have shared a room-it will be interesting to see how this plays out. I hope to go back sometime this summer and work in the flower beds and yard trimming trees.
My son will be going to the same school as the girls are, but he will be living in the dorm. I am so glad they will be together. When you are having a tough time, it is always good to have family close by. The girls love to tell him what to do!!! He loves it too, but has to act as though he hates it. He got to meet some people this weekend and that has helped eased a little of the apprehension of leaving home. At least he knows meeting people isn't all that hard if you just be yourself.
So very much to be grateful for this Independence day. I live in a country that I am free to go where I please and do as I please. I can also raise my children as I please. All this freedom has come at a price that is paid by many willing to give their time, energy, and sometime even their lives so we all could live in peace. We owe a debt of grattitude that can never be repaid to these men and women in our armed services. The very least we can do is to never forget what they have done.
Not a lot to say tonight, just a few reflections of the weekend. So good night, or rather good morning~
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Summer Time!
So many things have happened since I last posted. My son graduated from high school, my younger daughter came home to work for the summer, and my oldest daughter is preparing to finish her masters and begin Vet school. My husband has settled into his new assignment at work and I have been working on our house remodel.
My son is the last of my children to finish high school. We have homeschooled them all through 12th grade, so that means that I am no longer a teacher; I have retired! It is a bitter-sweet place in my life. For the past 16 years, I have been a teacher in addition to being a wife and mom. My oldest daughter went to a public school for the first 4 years. My youngest two have always been at home with me. I always knew I would miss them terribly when they went to college, but I never dreamed it would be so hard. I have written before about learning to let them go, so I won't dwell on that now. The sweet part is that I get to pick up all those things that I gladly put aside when they were younger and I get to explore new uses of my time and talents. There are so many good things to do with my time, I just want to be sure I find the best thing to fill my days. For the next few years, my husband will be working away from home and I don't want to waste my time doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself. There is too much life to be lived!
My son feels that he has been called into foreign missions, especially China, so he has changed his major and his college. He will hopefully be attending the same university that my daughters are attending. I am happy to see him passionate for a direction in his life. He seemed unsettled with the choice he had made before, just doing it because he couldn't find anything else. Now the light in his eyes when he talks about all he wants to accomplish tells me he has made the right choice. I am also happy that all my children will be in the same town. They are close and depend on each other more than they would like to admit.
It is great to have my younger daughter home for the summer. She has one more year in college and is still trying to define the exact path she wants to take after college. With her major, she can go in so many directions. I hope for her this summer will be a time of rest and reflection and that it will help her 'get her bearings', as they say. It is always great to spend time with her. When we get a chance to talk, it is always a joy to hear how she has thought things through. I do think, though, that she analysis every thought to death!
My oldest daughter is very much like her daddy, a work-aholic! She is trying to finish her masters before she begins vet school in July. I am so proud of the way she has stuck to her studies and perservered when things got tough. It took her a while to realize just what she wanted to do with her life, but when she did, she went full steam ahead. I guess "full steam ahead" pretty well sums up her drive and ability to get things done.
I will miss them being with me all the time ~ selfish, I know. But I am, oh, so proud of each of them. They all have a love of God and others, and work to make their world a better place. No mother could ask more than to see her children grow into loving, caring adults!
My son is the last of my children to finish high school. We have homeschooled them all through 12th grade, so that means that I am no longer a teacher; I have retired! It is a bitter-sweet place in my life. For the past 16 years, I have been a teacher in addition to being a wife and mom. My oldest daughter went to a public school for the first 4 years. My youngest two have always been at home with me. I always knew I would miss them terribly when they went to college, but I never dreamed it would be so hard. I have written before about learning to let them go, so I won't dwell on that now. The sweet part is that I get to pick up all those things that I gladly put aside when they were younger and I get to explore new uses of my time and talents. There are so many good things to do with my time, I just want to be sure I find the best thing to fill my days. For the next few years, my husband will be working away from home and I don't want to waste my time doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself. There is too much life to be lived!
My son feels that he has been called into foreign missions, especially China, so he has changed his major and his college. He will hopefully be attending the same university that my daughters are attending. I am happy to see him passionate for a direction in his life. He seemed unsettled with the choice he had made before, just doing it because he couldn't find anything else. Now the light in his eyes when he talks about all he wants to accomplish tells me he has made the right choice. I am also happy that all my children will be in the same town. They are close and depend on each other more than they would like to admit.
It is great to have my younger daughter home for the summer. She has one more year in college and is still trying to define the exact path she wants to take after college. With her major, she can go in so many directions. I hope for her this summer will be a time of rest and reflection and that it will help her 'get her bearings', as they say. It is always great to spend time with her. When we get a chance to talk, it is always a joy to hear how she has thought things through. I do think, though, that she analysis every thought to death!
My oldest daughter is very much like her daddy, a work-aholic! She is trying to finish her masters before she begins vet school in July. I am so proud of the way she has stuck to her studies and perservered when things got tough. It took her a while to realize just what she wanted to do with her life, but when she did, she went full steam ahead. I guess "full steam ahead" pretty well sums up her drive and ability to get things done.
I will miss them being with me all the time ~ selfish, I know. But I am, oh, so proud of each of them. They all have a love of God and others, and work to make their world a better place. No mother could ask more than to see her children grow into loving, caring adults!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Change
You cannot stay where you are and go with God ~ Henry Blackaby
I am a person who likes her feet firmly planted on the ground. I do not like change. I like life when it is predictable, safe, and comfortable. But...that isn't what life is about. There is one constant in life and that is change.
I desire with my whole heart to follow God wherever he is working. That means that I have to embrace change. Scary, at least for me. This week has been a week of revelation for me that God is working in my family. I need to embrace the change that is happening if I want to keep up with where God is going. For the past 25 years, my children have been my main focus. Everything I have done has been geared to them and my responsibility to rear them in a Godly home. Events have occured that have shown me that I no longer am needed in the role that I have traditionally held as mom with the direction and answers they have always looked to me for. My role is changing into an advisor, a person to bounce ideas off, and a prayer warrior for my children. They are moving into their own directions and making decisions that they believe that God is directing them. As scary as it is for them, I am terrified. I think it scares me because it is change and I don't know what the outcome will be. Some are changing their goals and dreams in life and I hope they won't regret it later. I believe that God gives us our dreams to give us purpose, direction, and joy in life. Others are still searching for their niche in life. They all are learning that you can only count on God for love and support. Your family is always there, but even they can let you down at times.
This is a hard transition for us all. My children have moved into young adulthood. My husband and I are exploring where we go in life when we retire. We are all looking to God to show us where we are to serve in our new roles. Some things will change, and some will stay the same. I pray that we will continue to be the close-knit family we have always been as we all follow our paths into the future. We will have a week at the beach soon and it will be, hopefully, a time for us to come together and reunite our lives and hearts before we set off in our different directions.
I am a person who likes her feet firmly planted on the ground. I do not like change. I like life when it is predictable, safe, and comfortable. But...that isn't what life is about. There is one constant in life and that is change.
I desire with my whole heart to follow God wherever he is working. That means that I have to embrace change. Scary, at least for me. This week has been a week of revelation for me that God is working in my family. I need to embrace the change that is happening if I want to keep up with where God is going. For the past 25 years, my children have been my main focus. Everything I have done has been geared to them and my responsibility to rear them in a Godly home. Events have occured that have shown me that I no longer am needed in the role that I have traditionally held as mom with the direction and answers they have always looked to me for. My role is changing into an advisor, a person to bounce ideas off, and a prayer warrior for my children. They are moving into their own directions and making decisions that they believe that God is directing them. As scary as it is for them, I am terrified. I think it scares me because it is change and I don't know what the outcome will be. Some are changing their goals and dreams in life and I hope they won't regret it later. I believe that God gives us our dreams to give us purpose, direction, and joy in life. Others are still searching for their niche in life. They all are learning that you can only count on God for love and support. Your family is always there, but even they can let you down at times.
This is a hard transition for us all. My children have moved into young adulthood. My husband and I are exploring where we go in life when we retire. We are all looking to God to show us where we are to serve in our new roles. Some things will change, and some will stay the same. I pray that we will continue to be the close-knit family we have always been as we all follow our paths into the future. We will have a week at the beach soon and it will be, hopefully, a time for us to come together and reunite our lives and hearts before we set off in our different directions.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Waiting...again!
It seems in our life we spend a lot of time waiting. We wait in doctor's offices, for children to finish a lesson or practice for a sport, to hear news from a loved one, or even sitting in traffic. Our life seems to be spent waiting to see where my husband will be working. His job involves a lot of travel to many different places in the United States and sometimes in other countries. Sometimes the stress of all the waiting can get overwhelming.
This week the waiting, at least for the job, is over. He got the "official" phone call yesterday about where his next assignment will be. The relief on his face was immediate. His mood lifted, and yes, he even had a skip in his step! In this economy, so many are facing layoffs and the stress this puts on you is unbelievable. We had thought he would get a new assignment, but so many he knew were not getting new position. Now the new problem is how to shift from the pay scale he was getting for his other assignment down to the pay scale he will get for this assignment. I know God will see us though, and we will find ways to cut back.
Another thing we have been waiting for is to find out if my son has been accepted to the college of his choice. Once again, God has seen us though the stresses of waiting and he got his "official" phone call! He was very excited~not the jump up and down excited, but the quiet smile that never left his face kind of excited. Now to find a way to pay for that college and to make it through the audition for the music school! I think God will see us through that, also.
We are going to spend Easter with our girls! I love going there because I get to see my girls, but I love the place they live in. It isn't a fancy place, but the most down to earth place I have been. Where I live currently, there is so much pretending and posing. I prefer people to just be themselves, warts and all as the saying goes. On our way there, we will stop at my neices home to see her new baby girl. I can't believe that she has a baby, surely she isn't old enough to even be married, right? Time has a way of passing so quickly! I have only seen pictures of the baby, but she is so pretty. I just can't wait to hold her. I really miss not being able to get to know the newest members of the family, like I did when I lived closer.
So much in life is unpredictable. Each step we take could land us in several different places. If we knew exactly where life was taking us and how it would all play out, I think we wouldn't get any joy out of living. It would be boring and uninteresting. Maybe that is why God doesn't allow us to see too far into our future. Maybe what is so exciting about life is the unpredictability! It can be hard, but it can be also so rewarding. Maybe all the waiting is good for us. Could it be designed so that we anticipate the wonderful, rewarding, and growing joys and disappointments that God has for us just to keep life interesting for us? Maybe!
This week the waiting, at least for the job, is over. He got the "official" phone call yesterday about where his next assignment will be. The relief on his face was immediate. His mood lifted, and yes, he even had a skip in his step! In this economy, so many are facing layoffs and the stress this puts on you is unbelievable. We had thought he would get a new assignment, but so many he knew were not getting new position. Now the new problem is how to shift from the pay scale he was getting for his other assignment down to the pay scale he will get for this assignment. I know God will see us though, and we will find ways to cut back.
Another thing we have been waiting for is to find out if my son has been accepted to the college of his choice. Once again, God has seen us though the stresses of waiting and he got his "official" phone call! He was very excited~not the jump up and down excited, but the quiet smile that never left his face kind of excited. Now to find a way to pay for that college and to make it through the audition for the music school! I think God will see us through that, also.
We are going to spend Easter with our girls! I love going there because I get to see my girls, but I love the place they live in. It isn't a fancy place, but the most down to earth place I have been. Where I live currently, there is so much pretending and posing. I prefer people to just be themselves, warts and all as the saying goes. On our way there, we will stop at my neices home to see her new baby girl. I can't believe that she has a baby, surely she isn't old enough to even be married, right? Time has a way of passing so quickly! I have only seen pictures of the baby, but she is so pretty. I just can't wait to hold her. I really miss not being able to get to know the newest members of the family, like I did when I lived closer.
So much in life is unpredictable. Each step we take could land us in several different places. If we knew exactly where life was taking us and how it would all play out, I think we wouldn't get any joy out of living. It would be boring and uninteresting. Maybe that is why God doesn't allow us to see too far into our future. Maybe what is so exciting about life is the unpredictability! It can be hard, but it can be also so rewarding. Maybe all the waiting is good for us. Could it be designed so that we anticipate the wonderful, rewarding, and growing joys and disappointments that God has for us just to keep life interesting for us? Maybe!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Ups and downs of life
This was written in September 2009 and I am just getting around to posting it. I decided that I would publish the posts that I had written so you could understand the events of our lives.
The last month has been quite a rollercoaster ride of emotions! My husband has been on an assignment for work the last few years that has taken him to all points on the globe. That means that I haven't seen him very often and when I did, it was for short periods of time. Well. he came home a month ago in order to prepare for knee surgery on an old injury. I knew that his "re-entry" into the family would take some time, it always does. He has been living by himself with no one to answer to and I have been at home managing business, children, house, ranch, and life in general. My feeling at first was total happiness. No longer would I have to make decisions by myself. I would have someone to take part of the burden of every day living. But it became evident that he didn't know where to step in or where he should leave things to me, so he just didn't make any decisions at all. It has been very frustrating working out the details of living together again after being married for so long. We thought we had set a pattern a very long time ago!
The last month has been quite a rollercoaster ride of emotions! My husband has been on an assignment for work the last few years that has taken him to all points on the globe. That means that I haven't seen him very often and when I did, it was for short periods of time. Well. he came home a month ago in order to prepare for knee surgery on an old injury. I knew that his "re-entry" into the family would take some time, it always does. He has been living by himself with no one to answer to and I have been at home managing business, children, house, ranch, and life in general. My feeling at first was total happiness. No longer would I have to make decisions by myself. I would have someone to take part of the burden of every day living. But it became evident that he didn't know where to step in or where he should leave things to me, so he just didn't make any decisions at all. It has been very frustrating working out the details of living together again after being married for so long. We thought we had set a pattern a very long time ago!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas is here!
Wow! It has been 3 months since I last wrote a post. So much has happened in the last 3 months. My husband came back from his assignment to get a new knee. He injured his knee playing football in high school and has always had trouble with it. He has been waiting for new technology in the area of joint replacement to have his surgery done. We have know for quite a few years that he would have to have a replacement, and the last year made it evident that he could wait no longer. The surgery went well and he was home from the hospital in 3 days. The recovery has been an interesting adventure!
I got a glimpse into the future when one of us has to take care of the other as we get older! I didn't like the picture that was painted for me, but realize that I won't have a choice when the time comes. It was hard to see my relatively young husband ( mid 50's) using a walker, having to have help bathing and dressing, and not able to get anything for himself. It was an humbling experience for us both.
I got a glimpse into the future when one of us has to take care of the other as we get older! I didn't like the picture that was painted for me, but realize that I won't have a choice when the time comes. It was hard to see my relatively young husband ( mid 50's) using a walker, having to have help bathing and dressing, and not able to get anything for himself. It was an humbling experience for us both.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Another first!
My youngest got his drivers license yesterday! Today he took his "maiden voyage" to his new job about 20 miles away. This being the third child that has become mobile, I wasn't too worried. Until I heard the thunder. It started to rain and didn't look like it would stop before it was time for him to leave. Now, where we live it doesn't rain very often. In fact, we are in a severe drought. So what are the chances that it would rain all afternoon, this afternoon?! He made it there and back safely and like a good son, let me know by text that there was nothing to worry about. (except when the windshield wipers quit working!!!)
I am new to this letting go thing and not doing very well with it. This time next year, all my chicks will be out of the nest. I can't seem to come to grips with this idea. I have for the last 24 years been totally immersed in all things children. I gladly set aside my interests and devoted my energies to raising my children, and it has been worth every minute. I love the young adults they have turned out to be. But what now? I have this last year with my son and I intend to make every minute count. My girls are mostly on their own and I will continue to develop an adult relationship with them as they test their wings. But I have to start making plans for next year when it will get very quiet here.
My husband has been working away from home and will be coming home for good soon. It will be great to have him back under foot and to get reacquainted with him. He still has a few years until retirement (or when everyone gets out of college, whichever is first!) So a quiet house will still be a problem.
I was reading a friends blog today and it reminded me of the great blessings that God has given me. This friend has 3 lovely children, one of which has a disability. Her blog was about the fairness of life and it hit me that I do not have anything to complain about. My life is very full and fulfilled. So as I prepare myself to "loosen my grip" on my children, I think I will complain less and thank God more for all He has given me.
I suppose that there will be many more "firsts" in the next few years. Instead of dreading them, I am going to look forward to them. Who knows what fun I could find!
I am new to this letting go thing and not doing very well with it. This time next year, all my chicks will be out of the nest. I can't seem to come to grips with this idea. I have for the last 24 years been totally immersed in all things children. I gladly set aside my interests and devoted my energies to raising my children, and it has been worth every minute. I love the young adults they have turned out to be. But what now? I have this last year with my son and I intend to make every minute count. My girls are mostly on their own and I will continue to develop an adult relationship with them as they test their wings. But I have to start making plans for next year when it will get very quiet here.
My husband has been working away from home and will be coming home for good soon. It will be great to have him back under foot and to get reacquainted with him. He still has a few years until retirement (or when everyone gets out of college, whichever is first!) So a quiet house will still be a problem.
I was reading a friends blog today and it reminded me of the great blessings that God has given me. This friend has 3 lovely children, one of which has a disability. Her blog was about the fairness of life and it hit me that I do not have anything to complain about. My life is very full and fulfilled. So as I prepare myself to "loosen my grip" on my children, I think I will complain less and thank God more for all He has given me.
I suppose that there will be many more "firsts" in the next few years. Instead of dreading them, I am going to look forward to them. Who knows what fun I could find!
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